Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Posted in Reviews by - Apr 23, 2014
Captain America: The Winter Soldier

 “What Iron Man 3 should have been.”

It’s a given that we’ve watched each of Marvel’s recent ‘Phase 1′ movies at least two or three times… all except Captain America: The First Avenger. Hell, we’ve even tolerated Thor twice and that was as boring as proverbial batshit. While we can’t quite put our finger on exactly what it was, there’s something about the The First Avenger that didn’t wow us enough to warrant a revisit. Not that it was a terrible movie necessarily, it’s probably more that old Cap is one of those heroes that doesn’t really need an origin movie. Hydra, the Nazi’s, Red Skull, campy scientists etc. It all felt a bit meh. We always loved the modern Cap: the 1940′s fish-out-of-water trapped in the modern era. Or to paraphrase John McClane, an analogue watch …

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The Lego Movie

Posted in Reviews by - Apr 06, 2014
The Lego Movie

“Everything IS Awesome.”

We have one credo in life: you’re either a Lego man or a Mega Bloks man… and if you’re a Mega Bloks man, well, we want nothing to do with you. It’s that simple. Mega Bloks were the poor man’s Lego, relegated to kids whose parents either couldn’t afford the good stuff, or who were too stupid to know any better. Come on: nobody willingly likes Mega Bloks. That’s the equivalent of saying you like to be held captive in an Egyptian prison and tortured repeatedly. Sure, those ‘MB’ cats have a heap of licensed sets like The Smurfs and World of Warcraft but everybody knows Lego is superior. Hell, we were still playing with the stuff when we were 38. True story. …

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Our 86th Academy Awards Predictions

Posted in Articles by - Mar 02, 2014

Where has a year gone? Yes folks, the 86th Academy Awards are almost here.

Around this time last year we decided to wade-in and give our predictions on who may just win some of these stupid little gold statues. We’ve decided to do that again since it was, well, kind of fun. Note: We don’t employ any scientific methods or statistical analysis to pick the winners, we mostly work on gut feeling and how much we loved the finished product.

Obviously we tried to do our best to watch and review as many of nominees as humanly possible, although unless you have a cushy job reviewing films all day, you can only watch so many. Regardless we did our best to bring you our list. So here goes nothing…

 

Best Motion Picture of the Year

12 Years a …

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The Wolf of Wall Street

Posted in Reviews by - Feb 19, 2014
The Wolf of Wall Street

“The Iron Chef of tossing midgets.”

During our quieter moments of introspection we often find ourselves wondering what we would have written if we’d had the chance to review some of Hollywood’s modern classics. Works of cinematic art that stood the test of time. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with YouSeenThat would know that our self-appointed benchmark of quality is the perennial favourite Goodfellas, and as history has proven, it’s not very often that a movie of that caliber comes along. What’s it been now? Twenty years? So when we got wind of Martin Scorsese’s new biopic about disgraced stockbroker-cum-douchebag, Jordan Belfort, the fact Terence Winter was adapting (The Sopranos, Boardwalk Empire), and the solid cast spearheaded by the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio – there was hope that maybe we’d get that chance. The …

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American Hustle

Posted in Reviews by - Dec 24, 2013
American Hustle

“Do the Hustle…”

It’s been a while between reviews and that’s not necessarily due to any failing on our behalf. Blame Hollywood. The year is almost over and we’re just going to say it – the latter half of 2013 has been utterly abysmal in terms of feature films. Low budget horrors here. A million sequels there. Once the Oscars are done and dusted and everyone is focused on the fat man coming down their chimney, the cigar-chomping execs at the studios seem to be convinced we’d rather watch reruns of The Golden Girls than anything worthwhile at the cinema. There hasn’t been a single standout piece of work that made us truly sit up and take notice since August… let alone anything worth discussing longer …

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Now You See Me

Posted in Reviews by - Aug 24, 2013
Now You See Me

“Ocean’s Eleven with more poofs.”

Movies about magicians have the potential to polarise audiences. Some people will love the concept, others will loathe it. Their preference usually comes down to how much they dislike guys like Dynamo and the raft of other rags-to-riches street magicians whose late night television specials have been shoved down our gullets over the last few years. Yeah Dynamo, we know you’re ‘levitating’ on that bus with a fake arm, we’re not five years old anymore and you’re not our uncle trying to play ‘gottacha nose’ at a family barbecue. Anyway, we digress. Combining elements of magic and mystery can be the equivalent of cinematic dynamite – just think The Prestige and The Illusionist. Two incredible movies based on similar themes that …

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World War Z

Posted in Reviews by - Jul 24, 2013
World War Z

“I’ve got four tickets to paradise.”

Over the years we’d heard a lot of praise for Max Brooks’ novel World War Z. So being patrons of all things zombie-like, we figured that we’d give it a read. And here’s the embarrassing admission… we only got about two or three chapters in before we put it aside. Maybe we weren’t entirely receptive to it at the time but we were left wondering what all the hype was about. In all honesty, it read like amateur fan fiction. Yeah, we know that’s hypercritical given some of the nonsense we knock-out on a regular basis, but frankly, it didn’t hook us. A couple of years passed and then came the announcement that everyones beloved World War Z was going …

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Evil Dead

Posted in Reviews by - Jul 10, 2013
Evil Dead

“More like Evil Deja Vu.”

The late seventies/early eighties were the halcyon days of low-budget horror. You can tell us how great Saw 241 was until you’re blue in the face, we don’t give a rat’s proverbial – the fact is you can’t top the classics. While it’s possible we’re viewing the era with rose-tinted glasses, few horror movies have captured our collective imagination like 1981′s The Evil Dead. The Evil Dead was a phenomenon unto its own – just pick up a copy of Bruce Campbell’s autobiography ‘If Chins Could Kill’ if you don’t believe us. Remember that this was 1981, back in a time before Kickstarter and the Internets. Back when goofy film geeks had to beg, borrow, or sell their left testicles in …

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The Purge

Posted in Reviews by - Jun 24, 2013
The Purge

“Decriminalised murder… good times.”

Much like Cuba Gooding Jr., Training Day alumni Ethan Hawke used to be hot shit about a decade ago… now somehow they’ve both inexplicably found themselves relegated to the land of direct-to-DVD horror/action schlock. We discovered this by accident after stumbling across some of their recent releases on the shelves of our local <generic video store>. We stared at the DVD’s blankly for a few seconds while we tried to convince ourselves that they used to be pretty good back in the day, shrugged, and then moseyed on to the nearest Will Ferrell movie. It’s a mystery how actors of their former stature have sunk to such depths. Christ, Cuba won an Academy Award for that stupid Tom Cruise movie after all… …

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Iron Man 3

Posted in Reviews by - Apr 29, 2013
Iron Man 3

“They say a man creates his own demons…”

After the lacklustre sequel that was Iron Man 2, we were absolutely over the proverbial moon when we heard that Shane Black was writing and directing the next installment. Word on the street was that Iron Man 3 was going to be more of a techno-thriller, something in the vein of Tom Clancy. Hey, even better we thought. Maybe it’s just us but the whole ‘Iron Man versus some other guy in a robot suit’ shtick from the previous two movies had grown stale. Of course, you are probably sitting there wondering who the hell Shane Black is? Depending on your movie-going orientation, when it came to the action genre during the 90′s, Shane Black was hot property. Maybe even the …

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