Archive for PG
“Something something Space Invaders.”
Based on a 2010 short film by Patrick Dean, Pixels tells the story of an alien race who intercepts video of an arcade game challenge back in the 1980’s and considers it a declaration of war. And as is the case with any alien invasion, a group of unlikely heroes lead by Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler) must use their skills to save the world from annihilation, in the form of classic arcade games.
Despite the fact that it has become an international pastime to hate on Adam Sandler, Pixels is nowhere as dire as some reviewers would have you believe. While the execution is …
“Everything IS Awesome.”
We have one credo in life: you’re either a Lego man or a Mega Bloks man… and if you’re a Mega Bloks man, well, we want nothing to do with you. It’s that simple. Mega Bloks were the poor man’s Lego, relegated to kids whose parents either couldn’t afford the good stuff, or who were too stupid to know any better. Come on: nobody willingly likes Mega Bloks. That’s the equivalent of saying you like to be held captive in an Egyptian prison and tortured repeatedly. Sure, those ‘MB’ cats have a heap of licensed sets like The …
“UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START”
Growing-up in the 80’s was a magical time: Gremlins, Garbage Pail Kids, big hair, Michael Bolton, Hulk Hogan, Glo-Worms… all the cool shit that served to transform your average wide-eyed tyke into the big-balled sexual Tyrannosaurus that can now be found stalking the Action movie section of your nearest Blockbuster. Of course the true hunting ground for callipygian supermen of the 80’s was the local video game arcade. The arcade was a place where scores could be settled without the need to shoot-up your local high school with a semi-automatic …
“You call that a bag of choppers?”
Once you hit puberty the world kind of beats the living snot out of that adolescent veil of magic that once freely blinded you to how much it sucks. Yeah kids, the world sucks, you read it here first. Of course sometimes it’s nice to forget that salient fact for ninety minutes and regress back to your childhood. Be it Disney, Pixar, DreamWorks, or whatever your poison, sometimes you’ve just got to go to your ‘happy place’. These days it’s exceedingly rare that the ‘powers that be’ allow us to review children’s movies: apparently …
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