YouSeenThat.com: Film Review
Bronson
by Jamie - January 17th 2010
“Magic? You just pissed on a gypsy in the middle of fucking nowhere.”
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Rarely does a film come along that we need to watch a second time in order to work out how we’re going to review it, and for some bizarre reason, Bronson was one of these rare examples. It’s an interesting piece of cinema to say the least. That’s not to say that the film is amazing, or even terrible, it’s just... yeah. Even after two viewings of Bronson, we still feel like we’ve mentally dropped the soap in the shower. Come to think of it, Bronson was a little reminiscent of our first sexual experience – an hour and a half full of savage beatings, trannies, flapping cocks, people shitting on the ground and smearing on their faces like warpaint, pedobears, and a musical score by The Petshop Boys. Ah, good times. Okay, we’re just bullshitting you, there was no Petshop Boys soundtrack – that shit would have given us a soft-on before the first chorus had even kicked-in.
So what's it all about, Alfie? Bronson is based on the relatively unknown true story of “Britain’s most dangerous prisoner”, Michael Gordon Peterson. Sentenced to 7 years in prison for robbing a post office in the 70’s, his love of violence and mayhem finds him spending over 30 years in solitary confinement. During his time in prison, Peterson's own personality is slowly supplanted by his alter ego, Charles Bronson.
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The synopsis pretty much tells you everything you need to know – that’s probably why it’s called a friggin’ synopsis, dummy. Aside from some brief narration by Bronson (Tom Hardy) in which he attempts to convey his relatively normal childhood, and an almost equally brief dalliance outside of prison between incarcerations, the majority of the film follows the titular characters coming and goings as he punches, kicks and headbutts his way through just about every prison and mental asylum in Britain. You see, like us, Bronson always wanted to be famous. Yet unlike us, Bronson can’t act, can’t sing, and can’t dance – he’s shit out of luck being the next mustachioed Fred Astaire. Fortunately for the man, he can fight. Given his natural talent for taking a beating as well as he can dish one out, Bronson set out to make a name in the world as the “most violent prisoner in Britain”, and he has no qualms about getting it done. That’s pretty much it. On the surface there’s probably not a lot going on for the average filmgoer. However, this isn’t your traditional narrative tale, this is a character study. Stop and think for a moment - Bronson is based on a true story. Sure, filmmakers like to bandy that phrase around almost as much as the word ‘reboot’, or even those four cringe-worthy words ‘presented by Quentin Tarantino’. Shudder. Regardless, at the end of the day, there is a real Charles Bronson sitting in prison somewhere in Britain at this very moment... he may even be reading this absolutely fucking amazing review on his prison-issue iMac. Maybe. If you are, love your work, son.
What makes a man like this tick? What the hell is going through his head?
This guy is broken and fractured in ways most normal individuals cannot imagine – case in point the numerous scenes inside Bronson’s mind. About the closest individual we can probably compare Bronson to would be Australia’s own Mark ‘Chopper’ Read. As much as we are fanatic patriots of talking-up national nutcases, Chopper doesn’t have shit on Bronson. At least Chopper is out of prison and able to live a relatively ‘normal’ life. Charles Bronson went to prison for seven years over an armed robbery of a post office, and through his insatiable propensity for violence and mayhem, he’s somehow spent over thirty years of his life in solitary, with no real expectations for release. Yeah the guy is a tool, but his plight really has to make you stop and think. As vile or twisted as a man like Bronson may appear to the outside world, for a person to simply be able to fall through the cracks of the legal system and almost never be seen or heard from again is a very scary thought. At least that’s the type of response the film Bronson provoked in us. While on the surface it may just seem like a story about a bunch of random violence, there is a lot to ponder below the surface.
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Character studies need strong actors to pull off the character in question, and props have to go to the relatively unknown actor, Tom Hardy, who portrays the titular Bronson. We’ve not really seen a lot from this guy, but given his performance in the film, and the fact that he’s been given the nod to play Mad Max in ‘Fury Road’, it's safe to say that this guy definitely has a bright future in front of him. From the research we’ve done on the real Charles Bronson, down to his looks and mannerisms, he seems to have him down reasonably well. Oh, and apparently as a part of his preparation for the film, Hardy replicated Bronson’s daily exercise routine – consisting of 2500 push-ups per day. Yeah, you read that right, 2500. Shit, we can’t even manage one push-up between us. Talk about dedication to the craft. Now we know that, we kind of have to wonder how Hardy will prepare for taking over Mel Gibson’s character of Mad Max? Get drunk, get pulled over by the highway patrol, and start spouting anti-Semitic remarks about how the Jews secretly run Hollywood. Mmm. We’d pay $14 to see that, assuming he stayed in character.
Overall, Bronson is a difficult film to pin down. By no means is this a traditional narrative-driven tale - something that will probably turn off your average filmgoer. Instead, think of Bronson as a character study of a very interesting man, a man who has been lost in the prison system for almost longer than most of us have been alive. You have to stop and wonder how such a thing could even happen in this day and age. The fact that Bronson is a true story, the fact that individuals can seemingly slip through the cracks of society with next to no trace, and the fact that the actual Charles Bronson is still sitting in a prison somewhere, all combine to make the film more than a little disturbing. Combine those story elements with a great performance by Tom Hardy as the titular Bronson, and this film is certainly worth a watch by those who like something a little different from the regular cinema experience.
The A.D.D. Version:
A great performance by Tom Hardy as the titular Bronson, and certainly worth a watch by those who like something a little different from the regular cinema experience.
Random Observations:
See This Film If You Like:
The YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating:
Interesting, but not for everyone.
How does the YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating work?
Well, it works on the theory that the more you enjoy a film, the less likely you are to be aimlessly shoving salty corn kernels into your gob, and a little more focused on what is happening in front of you on the big screen. Therefore, the more popcorn in our scorers bucket, the better the film. Pretty simple, huh?. Think of it as an inverse scoring system.