YouSeenThat.com: Film Review
The Incredible Hulk
by Jamie - June 28th 2008
“Mr Green… meet Mr. Orange.”
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As with most of my reviews, aside from being about as unfocused, undisciplined and unwieldy as an on-duty Flight Traffic Controller playing Tetris while head-banging to Iron Maiden, I always like to make my admissions up front – just so you know exactly where I’m coming from. So here it is. I’m going to go on the record and state that I never bothered to watch the previous adaption of the big green guy - Ang Lee’s imaginatively titled ‘The Hulk’. There, I said it. No, I didn’t rush out to see it at the cinema. No, I didn’t rush out to rent it on DVD. Hell, I didn’t even leisurely stroll over to the idiot box on the half-dozen occasions that it has been repeatedly replayed on television since.
Why? Well, let’s just say that the whole concept of The Hulk has never really resonated with this humble reviewer. Nerdy Physicist Bruce Banner exposes himself to gamma radiation and morphs into a giant green monster that breaks shit when mildly irritated? Meh. It’s hardly anything to go batshit crazy over. Come to think of it, this Banner guy sounds exactly like most nine-to-five plebs on any given Monday morning. The sheer thought of having to drag your arse into a suicide-inducing job, still zonked out of your skull on a litre of Johnnie Walker from the night before... it’s enough to make you want to snap a dwarf over your knee. You certainly don’t need an unhealthy dose of gamma radiation to get your smash on. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed recent film adaptations like Iron Man (actually, I loved Iron Man), and as comic book characters go, The Punisher is definitely up there as my favourite – evidenced by the skull-emblazoned T-shirt sported to this very viewing – but sorry, The Hulk just doesn’t do it for me.
Note: Before any of you Hulk fanboys write in and remind me that The Punisher’s storyline isn’t anything to rave about either – SHUT THE HELL UP… OR I’LL STAB YOU!
With that shocking admission out of the way, where to start? Well, I imagine that you're probably wondering whether this version of The Hulk is a prequel, a sequel, or a ‘reboot’ of the series? Given the rate at which Hollywood film-execs like to throw around the catchphrase ‘reboot’ these days, and I’m assuming that’s due to the fact that their five year old nephews only just showed them how to power-up their laptops, The Incredible Hulk has been touted as a reboot of The Hulk franchise by all involved. Written by Zack Penn (Behind Enemy Lines, X Men 2), and apparently rewritten by Edward Norton in his typical control-freak style, think of this film in the same vein in which ‘Batman Begins’ rebooted the Batman series - so if you were unfortunate enough to have watched Ang Lee’s earlier attempt, you could do a lot worse than forget you had ever seen it. <Cue Tommy Lee Jones with a memory eraser> As a part of this reboot, The Incredible Hulk continues the trend set by the latest crop of Marvel films - a modern retelling of The Hulk in a more serious and gritty tone, something we can probably thank the aforementioned Batman Begins for. Think about it for a second. DC’s Batman film franchise was about to die on its arse after the absolute turd that was Batman Forever, only to remerge from the flames with Batman Begins, bigger and stronger than ever before, like the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes.
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Film makers sat up and took notice - modern fans want dark and gritty, not colourful and shitty.
Since The Incredible Hulk is a reboot of an already well-known tale, don’t go into the film expecting any sort of real origin storyline – this isn’t Iron Man; you don’t get the luxury of spending an hour watching Robert Downey Jr. build a metal suit inside a darkened cave while snorting lines of cocaine off of a hookers arse. Instead, the viewer gets dumped straight into The Hulk’s world armed with little more than a clichéd thirty second introduction, comprised primarily of brief Vietnam-style flashbacks and various assembled newspaper-clippings. You know the type headlines: “Giant Green Yeti Touched My Wife”, “A Sasquatch Ate My Baby” – just enough exposition for the simpletons in the audience to surmise that the filmmakers are referring to the big green guy that they just spent thirteen bucks to watch. The assumption is that the viewer already knows enough about The Hulk and his origin to make it through the one-hundred and fourteen minute running time, and if they don’t, and that’s a big ‘if’, they probably should have bought a ticket to some other equally lowbrow shit – maybe the latest Adam Sandler flick.
With introductions quickly dispensed, The Incredible Hulk picks up in the heart of Brazil, where we find fugitive Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) working a dead-end job in a juice factory, attempting to come to terms with controlling his giant green alter-ego. Living in Brazil? Living in Brazil with hot Brazilian women? Okay, I must have missed the memo to the Office of Big Swinging Dicks. Apparently in the short time period since last months issue of Cleo, and the theatrical window that we call ‘ten minutes ago’, Banner came to the conclusion that it was somehow undesirable to be hanging out with hot Brazilian poon and watching Portuguese Sesame Street in his jocks like a ghetto pimp. As a symptom of what could only describe as undiagnosed jungle fever, Banner decides that simply controlling his alter-ego isn’t enough - he wants a cure. That illusive cure comes in the form of research undertaken by a mysterious US-based scientist working under the codename Mister Blue. The only problem with finding a cure – Mister Blue needs to meet Mister Green in the flesh, which involves Banner travelling back to the good ol’ US of A. It doesn’t sound that difficult does it? You’d almost be justified in thinking that, well, that is until Bruce Banner’s cover is blown via the most pissweak of plot devices (the only reason to have Banner working in a juice factory). On the run again, Banner must flee from a US Army recovery team aided by an elite Russian-born soldier by the name of Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth).
Okay, that’s about as much plot as I’ll divulge in this review. If you’ve seen the trailer for The Incredible Hulk, or the name Emil Blonsky rings a bell, you’ll know exactly where the film is heading – a couple of monsters punching-on like bogans fighting over an AC/DC shirt in the bargain bin of their local Two Dollar Shop.
From a cast standpoint, The Incredible Hulk sports a pretty solid line-up: Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, Liv Tyler as Betty Ross, William Hurt as General Ross, and the extremely underrated Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky. Sure, the cast probably won’t make your average film buff cream their pants with anticipation, ala the reteaming of Pacino and DeNiro in the upcoming ‘Righteous Kill’, but the cast is definitely decent by any standards. Like I’ve always said, if you are going to deal in the suspension of disbelief, and trust me, The Hulk is a textbook example, at least bother to find some kats that can act. Performance-wise, everyone in the cast pulls their weight… but there was this one facet that just didn’t click for me. Edward Norton. Don’t get me wrong, I consider Norton to be one of the best young actors to emerge from Hollywood in the last decade, but why would such a talented actor want to be in The Incredible Hulk? Surely the guy has another Fight Club or American History X to make?
Regardless of motivation, Edward Norton does a competent job of playing Bruce Banner. I’m not really sure what other word I can use aside from ‘competent’. No, it’s not that I’m in need of a Thesaurus as a Secret Santa gift - I just didn’t feel that there was any great emotional range to the character. Maybe it is just the way Norton rolls, but as a viewer I didn’t feel any tangible growth or journey with Bruce Banner. Just when I thought that the film was going to deliver the goods, the story reverted back to being all about the Hulk smashing shit at the appropriate times.
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While I’m ranting about emotional ranges and journeys, I was actually ticked-off to read about a rather interesting scene which had been cut from the theatrical release. The scene in question involved Bruce Banner travelling to the Antarctic in order to kill himself after he thinks that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, only to run into the one and only Captain America. No, I’m not really spoiling anything there. The scene was cut. Maybe it will be reinstated as a deleted scene on the DVD, but it’s too little, too late. As far as I’m concerned, if it’s not in the theatrical release, it doesn’t count. What was the reason for the scene being left on the cutting room floor? Apparently the softcocks at the studio thought that Bruce contemplating topping himself was a little too hardcore for the kids. I have to disagree, I think they missed out on a chance to show some added depth to the character of Banner.
Child: “Mummy? Why is Bruce going to kill himself?”
Mother: “Because he’s an emo deadshit, honey.”
Direction-wise, Louis Leterrier (Transporter 2, Unleashed) takes the helm of this popcorn-fest - an interesting choice given his track record, or more accurately, lack of a track record. The guy has only directed a handful of films, and since we’re all friends here, let’s be honest and say that none of those films have set the world on fire. Despite my apprehensions, Leterrir does a commendable job with The Incredible Hulk. Although I guess when you have so much invested in special effects, and Edward Norton stealth-editing your final cut behind your back, it’s kind of difficult to screw the pooch too badly. Speaking of CGI, I’m reminded as to one major thing that always put me off watching Ang Lee’s The Hulk - aside from the lack of interest in the character, I was always turned-off by how cornball the CGI looked. There are some films where you can hide bad CGI, and there are some films where you can’t - when your major character is a nine feet tall giant green monster, it’s like trying to hide Rosanne Barr’s naked carcass somewhere in the pages of a Swimsuit Illustrated calendar. It’s going to stick out like the proverbial dogs balls. Fortunately for The Incredible Hulk, the CGI was actually quite well done. Sure, there were points in the film when I thought I was watching cutscenes from Gears of War, or when the action hit the streets of downtown Harlem, Cloverfield, but overall the CGI appeared to be a vast improvement from its predecessor… or at least the snippets I have seen from the 2003 version.
Overall, The Incredible Hulk was definitely watchable. However, I did utter the words “is that it” after the lights in the cinema came back up – so it’s safe to say that I was slightly underwhelmed by the whole experience. Maybe I was expecting a bit too much from a humble popcorn superhero flick, or alternatively, and more likely, maybe it simply wasn’t that spectacular. Just average. Not good. Not great. As we watched the credits roll in the hope of some sort of Samuel L Jackson/Nick Fury repeat, my film-reviewing partner in crime informed me that it was definitely superior to The Hulk, so I’ll have to take his word for it. In hindsight, maybe I really did need to see that shitty Ang Lee version to really be able to appreciate The Incredible Hulk? Either way, if you love the character of The Hulk, love Ed Norton, or just love touching yourself to Liv Tyler in the dark, you could do a lot worse than drop your money on The Incredible Hulk.
The A.D.D. Version:
An average affair that encompasses all the elements that one would expect from a Hulk film: Bruce Banner turns into a giant green tantrum-throwing monster, fights various protagonists, and breaks a lot of shit in the process. Word on the street is that this latest comic book reboot is well and truly superior to Ang Lee’s 2003 attempt… and if that is the case, the 2003 version must have been bloody ordinary.
Random Observations:
See This Film If You Like:
The YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating:
A pretty decent superhero flick, but I won’t be rushing out to buy it on DVD...
How does the YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating work?
Well, it works on the theory that the more you enjoy a film, the less likely you are to be aimlessly shoving salty corn kernels into your gob, and a little more focused on what is happening in front of you on the big screen. Therefore, the more popcorn in our scorers bucket, the better the film. Pretty simple, huh?. Think of it as an inverse scoring system.