YouSeenThat.com: Film Review
Wanted
by Jamie - August 2nd 2008
“What the hell have you done lately?”
 |
I have a theory about Wanted. It's a pretty solid theory, but I'm not going to announce it just yet, instead I want you to indulge me for a minute. Almost ten reviews into my tour of duty with YouSeenthat.com and the constant reader should have realised by now that I like to avoid writing conventional film reviews - frankly I find them a little boring. You can go to just about any review site and read some pretentious prick prattle on, so in order to keep things fresh, and to reinforce my unstated theory, I plan on starting my Wanted review a little differently. Like I said, just go with me on this.
Okay, so here's my 'world first' idea. Do you remember reading those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books as a kid? Basically you read a few paragraphs and at the end of the page you are presented with a choice. Now if you were like me, you probably didn't even bother to read the text, instead you just skipped right to the next choice? Yeah, I bet you did. You look like the sort of punk who would. Anyway, what I want to do here is a 'world first' in film reviewing - yes, I want to do a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' film review.
It's pretty simple: read both of the options below and choose the one which suits you best.
Option #1: I am completely happy and content with my job, my partner, and my life in general. If you answered 'yes' - stop reading this review right now! Instantly give this film an 'Empty Bucket' on our patented YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating, close your web browser, and happily go about your awesomely awesome life... you smarmy little prick.
- Alternatively -
Option #2: My life sucks balls. I feel like eating a gun every god damn morning I wake up. I am counting the days until I go on a killing spree with an AK47 at my local post office. If you answered 'yes', welcome to the fraternity. Please continue reading this review.
 |
Hmmm. Chances are you went with Option #2, didn't you, you emo little shit?
So what is my grand theory? Well, my theory is that if you are content and happy with your life, chances are you will absolutely hate Wanted.
'Inspired' by the graphic novel of the same name, Wanted tells the story of Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy), a Gen-Y slacker accountant who finds out that not only was his long lost father the world's greatest assassin, but the fact that his father was recently murdered, and the organisation he worked for now wishes to recruit Wesley in order to eliminate the man who killed his father. Sounds like Citizen Kane, huh? Notice that I used the word 'inspired'. While I haven't read any of the Wanted graphic novels, generally I don't stray very far from The Punisher MAX series, the word on the street seems to indicate that the film shares very little in common with the graphic novel, aside from the obvious titular similarities.
First things first, Wanted is a 'leave your brain at the door' type of film - 'leave your brain at the door' being film reviewer code for 'most people will probably think that this is a complete piece of shit, but for some reason I kind of liked it'. The trailers tipped us off to the fact that this was going to be a big, dumb, over-the-top action film wrapped loosely in some ridiculous theme about fate, with a couple of gimmicks tacked-on to separate it from the herd. Yeah, that's more or less what you can expect. From the opening title card outlining a thousand year old order of assassins known as The Fraternity, followed closely by a Matrix-esq confrontation between one of their agents and a group of protagonists, we quickly realise that any grounding in reality has probably just vanished quicker than a rapper at the scene of a drive-by. Of course when I say 'Matrix-esq opening' I'm harking back to my first experiencing watching The Matrix at the cinema in 1999 - at the time I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, and when I saw a leather-clad woman walk vertically up a wall, only to later hover in mid-air and jump kick a police officer, I definitely knew that I wasn't in Kansas anymore. While I'm not going to give too much of the story away here, let's just say that we see our Fraternity agent leap through an office building window a hundred metres in the air, across the city skyline, over to another building at least fifty metres away. Yep, those patrons in the audience that aren't familiar with the concept of the suspension of disbelief are going to be in for a rude shock.
 |
Oh, and then there's the infamous bullet-curving from the trailer... *cough* ...bullshit... *cough*
I can't remember the bullet-curving gimmick being adequately explained anywhere in the film, but then again, there was so much 'out there' shit going on that I had all but given up on finding logic by that stage... I certainly wasn't in the mood to question known ballistic trajectory theory. I just decided to roll with it.
Just for the record, I'm not entirely adverse to over-the-top action films - christ, I grew up in the early 80's. I worshipped Arnie as a kid, and I've seen just about every decent action film that has come out of Hollywood in the last thirty years. Hell, I'm even watching Commando while I write this review. With my pedigree established, if I had to compare Wanted with just about any other action film of the last thirty years, there really isn't anything that unique about it. There are some flashy car chases, some gun fights, a bit of punching etc, but honestly, there's nothing here that we haven't seen before, and seen done better.
Of course Wanted isn't all about action.
Returning to my initial theory, I suspect the main thing that works in Wanted's favour is the whole Gen-Y slacker angle. Like I mentioned previously, Wanted is little more than an average action film with a couple of gimmicks - the element that will ultimately strike a chord with the average viewer will be Wesley Gibson's potential transformation from a nobody into a cold-blooded killing machine. Wesley is a pussy, even by this own admission. He's stuck in a dead-end job, he's flat broke, his girlfriend is cheating on him with his best friend and he can't even be bothered to do anything about it - he has absolutely no purpose in life... and he gets to repeat this routine on a daily basis. Wesley Gibson could easily be you or I.
As far as performances go, well, there's nothing much here to write home about. James McAvoy made a reasonably believable nobody-cum-hero, however he didn't really have enough action scenes that pushed him to the limit. Angelina Jolie (Fox) nailed the role of a crazy-insane hornbag, although part of me wasn't convinced that she was acting - I suspect that's just how she rocks up to the set in the morning. Morgan Freeman (Sloan) showed off his tougher side in this film, although he really do that much - the highlight of his performance being him dropping the word "motherfucker" toward the end of the film. Listening to Freeman curse in his perfect Queen's English is a guilty pleasure of mine.
 |
Is it obvious that I'm trying to delay the inevitable? Okay, I'm going to have to score this thing soon enough.
Wanted is an interesting creature. I came into the film almost wanting to hate it - I wanted to hate it purely because it looked like yet another over-the-top graphic novel adaptation in a sea of over-the-top graphic novel adaptations. If you boiled the film down into its base components, realistically there's not a lot to it... but there was just something about the damn thing that struck a chord in me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm just a nobody like Wesley Gibson, a nobody struggling for identity and purpose, a nobody who would happily spend his days banging Angelina Jolie and doing a little contract killing on the side. Fucking oath! It sure as hell beats a real job any day of the week.The A.D.D. Version:
An over-the-top action film that is bound to strike a chord with aimless Generation Y'ers everywhere. Just remember to leave your brain at the door... or under Angelina Jolie's bed.
Random Observations:
See This Film If You Like:
The YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating:
It was a toss-up between 'About A Quarter' and 'Half Full'. Most people will hate this film, I tried to hate it, but I couldn't. Damn my slacker genes. This may be the review where I donned my sequined leather jacket and jumped the proverbial film reviewing shark.
How does the YouSeenThat.Com Popcorn Rating work?
Well, it works on the theory that the more you enjoy a film, the less likely you are to be aimlessly shoving salty corn kernels into your gob, and a little more focused on what is happening in front of you on the big screen. Therefore, the more popcorn in our scorers bucket, the better the film. Pretty simple, huh?. Think of it as an inverse scoring system.